


who spiked the eggnog?

by lazyfish



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Background Relationships, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, F/M, spiked drinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:01:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28154274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazyfish/pseuds/lazyfish
Summary: It wouldn't be a S.H.I.E.L.D. Christmas party without a spiked drink and a mysery to solve.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Bobbi Morse
Comments: 22
Kudos: 28





	who spiked the eggnog?

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to @daisylincs for her help in betaing this! :)

S.H.I.E.L.D.’s annual Christmas party was normally a fairly subdued affair - or at least as subdued as a Christmas party with a hundred people could be. To _keep_ it that level of subdued, Coulson had made a mostly-official rule that no alcohol was allowed at the party. 

Of course, his agents didn’t agree with that rule. Every year at least one of the drinks ended up spiked, and more often than not it was decidedly more than one that had alcohol added. The culprits were always kind enough to leave at least one drink booze-free, and the news about which drinks were spiked travelled quickly enough that no one accidentally ingested alcohol if they didn’t want to.

“Eggnog’s spiked,” Daisy said out of the corner of her mouth when she passed by Bobbi.

Bobb’s nose wrinkled in disgust. “Won’t be drinking that, thanks.”

“Just wanted you to know,” Daisy said before slipping off to talk to Jemma.

\---

“Did you hear that?” Daisy said as soon as she was at Jemma’s side.

“What?” her girlfriend asked, turning around to hand Daisy another glass of eggnog.

“Bobbi said she isn’t going to be drinking the eggnog!”

“And?” Jemma asked.

“She and Fitz got married last year. We know they both want kids. C’mon, Simmons, you’re supposed to be a genius!’

Jemma’s jaw dropped. “You think she’s -?”

“Do you have a better explanation?”

\---

“Of course there’s a better explanation,” Hunter said, rolling his eyes. “Bob doesn’t like eggnog.”

“How do you know?!”

“In case you forgot, love, I _was_ married to her.” Hunter took a swig of his own drink - the decidedly unspiked cranberry punch for the recovering alcoholic, thanks - before levelling Daisy with a glare. “I have never once seen Bobbi drink eggnog. And before you ask, yes, there _was_ eggnog in the house.”

“I’m with him, Tremors,” Mack said, slinging his arm around Hunter’s shoulders. “If neither of us have ever seen Bobbi drink eggnog, there’s no way she likes that stuff.”

\---

“People’s tastes change,” May said flatly when Mack finished recounting the frankly absurd tale of Daisy thinking Bobbi was pregnant just because she refused to drink the spiked eggnog.

“Wait - you really think she is?” Mack asked, eyes widening. He was honestly shocked May had any opinion on the matter, and even more shocked she wasn’t on team _mind your own damn business_ , as she normally was. Elena was rubbing off on her.

“She’s changed her training regimen recently,” May answered mildly. “She could be.”

“Bobbi changes her training regimen every December,” Mack answered stubbornly. “She says it helps her prepare for the holidays.”

“I’m not saying she definitely is,” May answered, glancing furtively over her shoulder. “But if you join Phil’s betting pool, I wouldn’t bet against it.”

\---

“I heard you have a betting pool,” Elena said as she sidled up to Phil at the refreshments table. The older man had been hovering there since the news of the eggnog being spiked had filtered through the party to keep other drinks from going the same way.

“You wanna join?” Phil asked. Perks of being director: he had access to every agent, which meant his betting pools grew to astounding sizes. Also perks of being director: no one could tell him to cut it out with the betting pools (though Phil _did_ try to be tasteful about them).

“Ten bucks says she is, and twenty on the second week of January for the announcement.”

“I’ll put you down.” Phil pulled out his phone casually, as if he was just checking the time, but Elena watched him quickly type out her bet before sliding it back into his suit jacket pocket.

\---

“Did you hear -?”

“About the eggnog?” Bobbi finished Fitz’s sentence. “Yeah, I think everyone has by now.”

“I meant about the betting pool.”

“It’s funny how they think they’re being subtle,” Bobbi chuckled.

“Piper asked me what bet she should place.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“That inside trading is illegal in America.” Fitz smirked and Bobbi bent down to brush a kiss across his lips. She left a smear of crimson on his mouth - she had matched her lipstick to the wine-red dress she was wearing - and spent the next minute trying to rub it away.

“Leave it.” Fitz’s smirk grew even more mischievous.

“I didn’t think you’d like there being a bet about our personal life.”

“Oh, I don’t,” Fitz said, fiddling with his tie. “But we can’t unring that bell. Might as well have some fun with it.”

“In that case, husband, would you care to accompany me to a broom closet?”

\---

“Sometimes,” Hunter sighed, “I wish my best friend and my ex-wife hadn’t shacked up.”

“Why’s that?” Elena asked, propping her feet on Hunter’s lap. 

“They just snuck off together. We all know what that means.” As excellent of a spy as Bobbi was, she wasn’t as good at hiding her many hickies as she thought she was.

“Heightened libido is a pregnancy symptom,” Elena commented.

“Or maybe she’s not and they wanted to change that,” Hunter retorted. “I’m just saying, since my best friend and my ex-wife _did_ shack up, I would be the first to know if she was pregnant.”

“Maybe they did tell you and you’re playing the skeptic to get everyone off their case.”

“I think you’re giving them too much credit.”

\---

“He didn’t say that _wasn’t_ what happened, is all I’m saying,” Elena said under her breath.

“Wouldn’t you have been equally suspicious if he’d outright denied it?” Jemma asked, equally quietly. 

It was a fair point; Elena rarely believed Hunter was telling the truth, which was strange considering he was one of her best friends, and dating her _other_ best friend.

“I just need to get Mack alone.” Elena twirled the candy cane she was holding between her fingers. She could definitely break Mack, given enough time.

\---

“You _cannot_ leave me alone with Yo-Yo,” Mack said, looking surreptitiously over his shoulder to make sure the woman in question hadn’t followed him over to where he was talking with Trip.

“Why not?”

“She’s determined to use me to figure out whether or not Bobbi is pregnant.”

Trip raised a single eyebrow. “Do you know something we don’t, man?”

“I don’t,” Mack insisted. “Which is exactly the point. She’s not going to leave me alone until she hears what she wants to, which means she’s going to bug me _all night_.”

“And you have better plans?” Trip winked.

“Shut up,” Mack grumbled. What plans he did or didn’t have with Hunter were nobody’s business but theirs.

\---

“They just got back,” Daisy told May. “Not all that quick for a quickie.”

“Remind me again why you’re comfortable talking to me about your friends’ sex lives.”

“Because you’re not _actually_ my mom, duh,” Daisy said. “And you’re kind of proving me wrong with the whole strict-mom thing. Did Elena get you to rethink your whole parenting philosophy or something?”

May just shrugged.

 _That_ was an interesting development. 

“You going to do any reconnaissance?” May asked after a long minute of silence.

“Maybe I will.” Daisy peeled herself off the wall she had been leaning against, making a beeline towards Bobbi.

\---

“Oh, there you are!” Jemma caught Daisy’s arm in her hand. “It’s time for us to get going.”

“What? It’s barely midnight!”

“It’s time for us to get going,” Jemma repeated, raising her eyebrows and tilting her head just so. 

Oh. Time to get _going_.

Well, there would be time to figure out that mystery later. 

\---

“You owe us big time,” Hunter grumbled as he, Bobbi, Fitz, and Mack threaded their way through the halls of the base, careful to avoid the more populated areas so they could converse in peace. “Elena was ready to follow us around all night if she had to.”

“And we really appreciate it,” Bobbi said, swinging her and Fitz’s joined hands between them. “Christmas is just hectic enough without adding baby news into the mix.”

“It is,” Mack agreed. “And we’re glad you decided to tell us anyways.”

“Of course we told you,” Fitz scoffed. “Godfathers get to know first.”

“Godfathers?” Hunter repeated, gaping.

“Merry Christmas, idiots,” Bobbi laughed.

“You know what I do wonder,” Mack said as they reached their neighboring bunks. “Who spiked the eggnog in the first place? Daisy swears it wasn’t her this year.”

“Oh,” Bobbi said, grinning. “That was me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Merry (early) Christmas! This year has been so good to our little rowboat and I wanted to celebrate with a little fluff and nonsense. Hope you enjoyed! :)


End file.
